(Via Debra Thain‘s FB)

“I am”, are the two most powerful words in our vocabulary. What ever words you place after those two words create your reality. So…. “I am a beautiful child of God.” “I am powerful, and strong.” “I am a creative, intelligent, loving gift to the universe.”, ” I am happy, joyous and free.” , “I am love, I am filled with peace and serenity.” ” i am prosperous and abundant.” Share some of your “I am’s.”

I am powerful, I am worthy, I am a force for good. What are you?

In late October, 2009, I received a perfect compliment.  It wasn’t perhaps the best compliment I’ve ever gotten, because it was purely external – that is – about my looks.  Regardless, it was so powerful that I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

Dude, she’s a goddess.

It was a perfect compliment because it was personal, sincere, “accidental,” simple and big.  To enhance your executive charisma and compliment someone in this same powerful way, build as many of these five attributes as you can into your comment.

1. Make it personal.  Make it about who the person is – make it a characteristic.  Do this by forming your compliment around the word “be.” For instance, instead of you look beautiful, make it you are beautiful. By assigning your compliment to who the person is rather than what they do, it will stick much longer.
2. Make it sincere.  Most compliments are sincere.  Unless you asked for it or prompted in some way, you can be pretty sure the complimenter means it.   Executive charisma relies on always giving compliments that are in line with what you really think and feel.  Just find the great thing you want to praise, and praise it.
3. Make it look like an accident.  This may be more challenging to pull off.  Compliments are sweetest when they’re not directed at you.  That is, when you receive a compliment directly, perhaps the complimenter has an agenda.  But if they say something wonderful about you to someone else, and you just happen to overhear it, I promise it stays with you.  Plus, you get the extra bonus of other people hearing how wonderful you are!
4. Keep it simple.  The simpler it is, the more powerful and lasting it will be.  Keep it to one or two key words that you then link to the person with “be.”  Drop any qualifiers like “really.”  While they add emphasis grammatically, they only dilute the compliment.
5. Make it big.  Instead of starting small and adding emphasis stuff like “really,” just go big from the beginning.  Find the strongest word you can to express what you’re thinking and feeling, and use it!

Formula:

(He/She/Name) is a (Noun compliment).
or
(He/She/Name) is (Adjective compliment).

Do these things and maybe you’ll give a compliment that is remembered even 3, 5, 10, or 50 years later.  Remember, you have the power!

What was the most powerful compliment you’ve ever received?  Was it external (about your looks) or internal (about your personality/mind/talents)?  What made it so special?  Please leave a comment below!

Love, CarolAnn

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter from CharismaU.com.  We wish you a wonderful holiday full of smiling children, warm hugs from family, and all the joy that comes with the knowledge that spring is here!

Love, CarolAnn

CharismaU is going on break this week!

That doesn’t have to mean that you go without CharismaU for a whole week. 

What are you doing today to change your life?  Leave your comment here on the blog.  I’d love to hear everything you’re creating right now!

Or, check out the CharismaU QuickTips  on CharismaU’s YouTube Channel and tell me which one you like most and why!

I hope your week is as fun as mine!

Love,
CarolAnn

An excerpt from last week’s newsletter,
in case you missed it…

What kind of wildebeest are you?

What kind of relationship are you looking for?  Are you looking to be consumed, like an injured wildebeest on the savannah?  Or are you looking for a companion to walk together with you through life?

Almost everyone wants the second.  But all too often, we find that the guy we’ve met is licking his hyena chops instead of preparing for a possible life together.  Why does this happen?

It’s all about presentation.  If you present yourself like prey, predators take notice.  If you show weakness and disrespect for yourself with your clothing or your actions, someone will see easy pickings and go in for the kill.  If you don’t want to be chewed up and spit out by yet another hyena, it’s time to put forth a different image.

Image is key to super confidence.

This doesn’t mean eradicating sex appeal from your wardrobe, or acting too serious or stuffy.  This simply means acting in a way that is congruent with your self-respect.  When you look and act like you respect yourself, it shows others that you’re respectable, and know you deserve respect.  You become a strong and formidable wildebeest with super confidence that the hyenas don’t dare mess with.  The only ones who will approach you are the people who want to treat you with respect and are ready to consider companionship.

In clothing terms, this just means to cover up a little bit – if you’re showing one sensual body part, like a little thigh or cleavage, cover the other.  Do show sensual and non-overtly sexual skin, like collar bones, calves, arms, and upper back, if you want.  And do not show too much.

As far as your actions go, just make sure you’re having fun in a safe and controlled way.  Flirting is fine, just make sure it’s comfortable, and if at any time you feel threatened or like you have to prove something, get out of there.  Respect yourself enough to know when to leave.

Keep these ideas in mind, and you’ll find a potential long-term companion, rather than someone looking for a quick meal.  Remember, you’re worth it!

Love, CarolAnn

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An excerpt from last week’s newsletter,
in case you missed it…

Question: My hair is wavy and fluffy and I just want it to be smooth.  What can I do to fix it?

Embrace the wave and work with your hair.  Get products that are specifically formulated to tame wavy or curly hair, and even encourage the wave.

When you towel dry your hair, just squeeze the excess water out of it.  Don’t rub it, because that can damage the hair.  If you blow dry your hair straight, use a smoothing product, dry it about 80% with your fingers, and then dry it with a round brush.  Add a shine product if you want more sheen.  To keep it wavy, put some mousse or curl cream in your hair after towel drying and let it air dry.  Brush your hair before you shower or comb it during your shower.  Do not brush or comb it after you get out.  This will preserve your waves and keep down the fluff factor.

Creating confidence comes from accepting the facts.

In general, creating confidence and a sweet hair style comes from accepting the facts.  When you accept the facts of your hair, your body, your personality, and your life and work with them instead of against them, you’ll be surprised at how wonderfully things turn out.   If you fight them, you’ll never win.  Love what you’ve got and go with it.  Good luck and remember, you’re worth it!

Love, CarolAnn

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Valentine’s Day is the day to celebrate Love.  Most people just think of romantic love on Valentine’s Day, and the beautiful thing about love is that it’s much bigger than just that.  We have love for our spouses, love for our families, love for our friends, and love for ourselves.  Treat the people around you – and yourself – with extra love today.  Most importantly, make sure they know how you feel about them! Enjoy this Valentine’s Day and remember, you’re worth it.

There’s me and my beau, Kyle Buzzard.  He’s the best!  He’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, and he’s so talented.  He’s a great daddy to our pup, he’s an amazing business man, and he’s incredibly considerate and loving.   He’s whip-smart and funny and cute.  He’s my man!

I know I’m gushing, and I want to share with you one of the secrets to lasting and real love: appreciation.  Kyle and I tell each other what we love about each other.  It not only strengthens our bond, it also encourages us to keep making the effort for each other.  You can do this in any relationship, of course, not just romantic ones.   Let your boss know that you’re glad to work with them.  Let your brother know that you’re proud of him.  Tell your daughter that you appreciate that she hugs you.

I appreciate and love you all.  Thank you for reading and being a member of the CharismaU community.  It means a lot to me!

What are you doing to show someone you care this Valentine’s Day?  Leave a comment!

Love, CarolAnn

An excerpt from last week’s newsletter,
in case you missed it…

Question: I’ve been depressed for a while. I want to move on. What can I do?

These suggestions are good ones. Getting involved with friends, family, and activities can help build up your confidence and sense of purpose, and provide a support system to you for when you’re not feeling  your best. Remember that you’re not alone. Find people who have gone through similar things and are doing well now. Look online for a message board or forum for people who are in a similar place.

Outside of that, the first practical step for you to take is to choose to start living again and choose to be happy.

Charisma training 101: happiness is a choice.

Of course you can be sad at times, that’s natural. And the key to getting out of a depression is to notice things that are wonderful, beautiful, or make you smile. Actively seek out things that you like, or that you used to like. Listen to birds singing. Watch the sunrise. It may sound cheesy, and anything you can do to lift your spirits is a step closer to happiness.

Remember that you’re strong enough and you have enough help to get through this time and on to the next thing. You have the power!

Love, CarolAnn

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An excerpt from last week’s newsletter,
in case you missed it…

Tell them what you really think.

Sometimes people (especially women) get caught up in secrecy and mystery. They act like people should be able to read their minds. And if he doesn’t already know what’s wrong, they’re not going to tell him.

Okay so you’re certainly not like that, and you’ve had your moments, right? Remember this – honesty is always the best policy when it comes to relationship maintenance. They can’t read your mind, so give
them a break and just tell them. Clarity goes a long way towards an agreement, and agreements are the basis of any successful relationship, personal or business.

Honesty and clarity create super confidence

and great relationships.

So next time, when someone asks you “what’s wrong,” just tell the truth. Skip the scripted “nothing,” and go on to what you really want. Be honest with yourself and the people around you, and you’ll see your relationships improve. Remember, you have the power!

Love, CarolAnn

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An excerpt from last week’s newsletter,
in case you missed it…

Create your ideal shape with clothing

What’s your ideal shape?  The ideal feminine shape for most people is the hourglass.  They key to this shape is a small waist.  Many of us don’t yet have exactly our ideal shape, and that’s okay.  You are perfect as you are in the process of getting healthy.  Here’s the secret: you can have this shape visually before you have it physically.

Shape your body and get instant confidence with clothing.

How do you do it? Create it with clothing.  The general idea is to have clothing that fits your body and skims your shape, and has a little volume to it.  So, wear a wide leg trouser or jean to create a straight line from your hip to the floor, an A-line skirt that skims your hips and then sits away from your legs, or a nice flow-y blouse.  The key is to also accent your waist, or the smallest part of your torso.

For some women, this is the natural waist.  If your natural waist (about an inch above your belly button) is the smallest part of your torso, go for wrap-style dresses and tops, belted jackets and overcoats, and anything with an accent, belt, or tie there at your waist.

For other women, the smallest part of the torso is the ribcage, right under the bust.  The empire waist style is for you.  Look for dresses and tops with a belt or band right below the chest.  Make sure your chest fits into the top of it, and then the band hits your smallest part.  Go for a wider band to keep this area looking small.  A small band can create a maternity look.

Keep these tips in mind, and always dress your body now.  Loving the you in the mirror will help you take even better care of yourself.  Remember, you’re worth it!

Love, CarolAnn

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