Regain control and move forward

An excerpt from this week’s newsletter,
in case you missed it…

It is the strongest, most powerful action you can take in a relationship.

It is the key to busting perfectionism and negativity.

It is the strongest step to creating confidence in relationships.

It is the secret to preventing procrastination.

It is the biggest step you can take towards regaining control in your life and moving forward.

What is it?

Forgiveness.

In any relationship, including your relationship with yourself, forgiveness is key to your health and well-being.  Let me be clear: it’s not just the person being forgiven who benefits it’s the forgiver.  How does that work?

Forgiveness is letting go.  It is reclaiming your power.  It is saying goodbye to the past, and hello to the present.  Forgiveness is freedom.

When you forgive someone who has wronged you in some way, you undo the reaction you had to the situation.  You stop the hurt and the anger you felt when you thought about it.  You take back the power the person or circumstances had over you.  You say “you can’t make me feel anything.  I choose how I feel.”

When you forgive yourself for past mistakes, you release yourself from guilt.  You remove the heavy burden of failure and regret, and open yourself up to possibility and opportunity.  You allow yourself to move forward with a clean slate.  No more punishing yourself for the past.  Rather, move towards what you want in the present, creating confidence as you go.

Forgiveness can be challenging at first.  If you’re not yet in the practice of forgiving yourself and others on a regular basis, it can be a challenge to learn to do it.  Think of times in the past where you’ve held a grudge for too long.  Was that grudge serving you?  Did the stubbornness serve a purpose?  Did someone really “learn a lesson,” or were you just making yourself angry for no good reason?

You don’t need to choose to be angry.  You can let it go.

What happened when you did let the grudge go?  How did it feel to move past it?  Chances are, the grudge was really just hurting everyone involved, and doing no real good, and forgiveness was a relief.  The good news is you don’t have to wait so long next time.  You don’t have to choose to hold a grudge.  You have power over your emotions.  You can choose to focus on the good aspects of the relationship or person, and on possibility and growth.  It’s just a matter of a decision.  Remember, you have the power!

Love, CarolAnn

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